


Black Widows, Daddies, & Long Legs

by lil_utterance (persephone_flees)



Category: Farscape
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2009-12-28
Updated: 2009-12-28
Packaged: 2017-10-05 09:59:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/persephone_flees/pseuds/lil_utterance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year after the events of PKW the craziness continues!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Prologue: Spinning Downwards**

_"What?"_

"Honey, now is not the time to rediscover your Peacekeeper heritage. I need you-"

"To what, John? Act more human? Would this involve me being too cowardly to tell you that I'd impregnated another being?"

He raised his eyebrows. "That would be an interesting story to tell, Aeryn. I thought you said you were the female of your species. But then again, I suppose I still don't know much about Sebacean reproduction. It's like in that-"

"Don't you dare. I swear, if you make one frelling reference to an earth movie right now I will-"

"I didn't know," he said softly. "Not until she asked me to take to the child."

Something in his tone made her take her hand off the weapon she had been gripping. "You didn't sleep with her willingly, did you?"

"No. I didn't." He rubbed his thumb across his lower lip. "I tried to forget the whole experience. I would never have connected her pregnancy to what she did to me."

Aeryn sat down beside him and laid a hand on his arm, forcing him to look at her. "Why is she suddenly so eager to pass off a child that she chose to carry?"

"There are Scarrans that want the knowledge contained in the baby's head."

"But Einstein-"

"Didn't know I had fathered a girl." He buried his head in her shoulder. "I don't know about our child, but initial tests indicated that Grayza's and my baby-"

"-inherited your knowledge about wormholes," Aeryn finished for him.

**Part I: Web Design**

"Explain to me again how this is a good idea?"

"It's not," John said. "But it's the only one I've got."

Aeryn grimaced. "Sounds about right."

"If you want-"

"No, John. It's fine." She didn't look up from the shuttle's controls.

"Right," he muttered, staring at her averted face. "Totally fine." He opened up communications with Moya. "Pilot, open the docking bay. We're coming on in."

"Of course, Crichton." A pause. "Did you make the necessary arrangements?"

"Yes, we have the coordinates," Aeryn answered. She shot John a killing glance. "We should be able to reach Scorpius' Command Carrier by tomorrow."

"Excellent," Pilot said, his disagreement with their chosen course of action only evidenced by the dubiousness of his tone.

John hated that; he preferred Aeyrn's usual form of disapproval to this sort of passive resistance. It was just so…annoying. Though he supposed his newfound preference for direct confrontation was helped along by the fact that he didn't have to worry about his wife killing him anymore. Being a father had some rather unexpected perks.

Not that her comments when this all fell apart wouldn't still test the capacity of his translator microbes.

"Just bring us in, Pilot" John said tiredly. He turned to Aeryn. "This will work. It has to."

"Are you convincing me or yourself?"

"I-"

She held up a hand and overrode him, "No, wait, don't answer that. Let's land the ship while I can still pay attention to something other than your insanity."

"I thought you _liked_ my brand of insanity," he muttered under his breath as he walked back to check their cargo.

"Yours, yes," she called back over her shoulder. "It's his idea of a good time that I'm not particularly fond of—seeing as it normally ends with at least one of us dead."

An observation he could hardly argue with.

\--

Feeding time meant they had to conduct their argument in a whisper.

"The last time he messed around in your mind," she shifted D'Argo against her shoulder and patted his back, "I lost you. I don't think I can go through that again. And," a few more back-pats, "I want our child…our _children_," she corrected, nodding at the dark haired girl cradled his arms, "growing up to know their father."

"I understand. But if we can't protect them, they won't be able to grow up at all."

"Yes, but does the only solution involve-"

"There are no other choices! I can still sense them, still feel the possibilities, but I can no longer identify one wormhole as substantially different from another. That skill is gone. And without it…" Sliding a supporting hand under her head, he offered Mele - he refused to use the entirety of her given name – a bottle, "I can't find him. So unless you know of another way of contacting the Ancients, the rabbit hole's my only option."

"How do you know there's even any information still hidden in your brain?"

"I don't. I can only hope that Ancient Alby didn't strip my mind as completely as he claimed."

Aeryn looked at him over D'Argo's head, her eyes mirroring his own defeat. "You know, I thought all this was over."

"Haven't you learned yet?" His laugh was bitter. "It's never over."

"But it doesn't make sense!" D'Argo shifted in her lap, eyelids fluttering, and John watched as she forced herself back to calm. "How was that information passed on to your daughter?"

"How the hell should I know, Aeryn? How is the mechanoid half of a biomechanoid ship passed on in Leviathan reproduction? How did genetic modifications lead to Talon being born a gun ship? There's a lot out there in universe beyond my comprehension." He raised his eyebrows. "As you remind me often enough."

She sighed. "I'm so sick of reminders right now. We're back to going around in circles, and it just doesn't ever seem to stop-" Aeryn stopped and stared at him, her gaze a paradox, a combination of the tough and the tear-shiny. "That's not even true. I know what we have to do." She rocked their child in silence for a moment. "I just wish I didn't have to think about it for awhile," she finally said softly.

He stood and held his free hand out to her. "Help me put the kids to bed, and I'll make sure that - at least for tonight - you don't have to."

\--

One kiss and she guided his hand down the front of her pants. Although John knew that tonight she looked for oblivion, he still wondered, as he always did…

"Are all Sebacean women this trigger happy?" he asked, twining her fingers with his own.

"Trigger happy?" Aeryn thought a moment. "Oh, right—where one shoots first and asks questions later. No, John, that's not really a female trait, more like Peacekeeper training. Except that we weren't supposed to ask questions at all." She frowned and pulled back from him. "You want to discuss this _now_?"

"Not really." For the first time in the last week he felt like laughing. "I meant trigger happy as in _reactive_, Aeryn."

"Oh." She shrugged. "I have no idea."

"You never asked?" he said, incredulous. "Talked about it at all? You know, girl talk?"

"It was recreation, Crichton. It happened. One didn't attach undue meaning to the act or the body's responses."

"Well, if you didn't talk about and you never had parents, then how did you know…?"

"It was hardly the most mentally taxing activity I engaged in," she said dryly. "Besides, there really isn't that much time to worry when you usually only have five minutes or so for tension release."

"You only need five minutes?"

"Need, yes." She offered him a smug smile and slipped one of her hands down the back of his leather pants. "But you're the one who showed me that what I need and what I want can be very different things."

He cupped her face in his hands. "And what do you need right now?"

"You," she said honestly, not flinching from his assessment.

"Done," he said and pulled her tighter against him so that his hand was trapped between them; she moaned and arched against him, fitting his body to her own.

The five minute mark came and went without either of them noticing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part II: Into the Parlor**

"Oh, now I know you're joking."

"Aeryn, be reasonable. Someone has to stay with the kids."

"And since when has this someone automatically become me?"

"Since we're on our way to see one of _my_ exes."

"Half the universe is composed of your exes." She glared at him. "I am not going to become one of those 'stay-at-home' moms."

"It's just this once, and," John's index finger drew a cross over his heart, "I promise that Scorpy and I won't take any trips down my memory lane without you." He took a few steps back at the look on her face. "What? You know he responds better to me!"

"Exactly, he _responds_ to you."

"I can handle him."

"Just make sure he doesn't handle you—and I do mean that literally," she said in response to his suspicious look. "He definitely has a thing for you. You know that, right?"

"My mind, Aeryn," he said, each word clipped. "He loves me for my _mind_."

"Yes, Crichton, and he's already handled that too."

"Oh, this idea is just sounding better and better," he muttered, heading towards the docking bay.

\--

Braca met him when he stepped off the transport pod.

John didn't feel much like catching up on old times. "Hey Smithers, seen Burns?" he asked, not even breaking his stride.

"Hello, Crichton," Braca said, falling into step beside him, his smooth politeness unruffled. "Scorpius is waiting for you on command."

"I'm assuming you'll want my girl." John reached into his holster to pull out Winona.

"No, that won't be necessary." At Crichton's nonplussed look, Braca smiled. "He said to tell you that he trusts you."

"I'm touched." John slid the gun back into place. "Alright, take me to tall, dark, and scary."

Only after they started walking down the more populous corridors did John remember how much he hated being a fishbowl exhibit. None of the Peacekeepers he passed could keep their eyes to themselves. He could only figure that his notoriety must have grown since almost destroying the universe they lived in. Though considering the stares he was receiving verged on the obvious, not the hostile, he could only assume that stopping the war with the Scarrans must have been considered reasonable justification for almost sending them all into oblivion.

But even Braca kept glancing over at him as they walked together, studying him in a way he found particularly unnerving.

"What?" John finally asked.

"I find your continuing hostility puzzling. You _asked_ for his help."

"That doesn't mean I have to like it. Especially since he's in large part responsible for getting me into this frell-up." When the door in front of them opened, he pushed ahead of Braca. "Scorpy-Sue, where are you?" Crichton called out as he entered the command deck.

"Here, John." Scorpius smiled slowly and spread his arms outward in welcome. "What can I do for you?"

"As much as I hate to admit this," he shook his head, "and oh, you have no idea how much I hate to admit this – I need you to put the bunny back."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Oh, come _on_, it just keeps on going and going and going." John's repeated hand gesture made shadows bounce across the wall. "But that busy little bunny hid all those Easter eggs, and now it's time to see if he can find them. Give me back my invisible rabbit. Hop to it," his voice was grim, "I want Harvey."

"If I understand you correctly, you want the neural clone back in your mind." Scorpius studied him for a moment. "Why?"

"To find the one who controls _them_." John walked right up and stared directly into the leather-clad face of his nemesis. "I'm playing 'I spy' with the time guy."

"Ah, you have questions about wormholes." Scorpius smiled again, genuine warmed-over death. "And you came to me for help."


	3. Chapter 3

**Part III: Spiders &amp; Flies**

"Honey, I'm home. And I brought company." Crichton strode confidently out of the docking bay only to stop in the face of the welcoming committee. Aeryn had made it a family gathering; she stood there with Mele strapped to her chest, baby D' cradled in one arm, and a gun braced in the other. He knew the moment she spotted Scorpius, because she smiled.

It wasn't a friendly gesture.

"Scorpius." She enunciated his name carefully and shifted the gun in his direction. "Make yourself at home."

"Why, Officer Sun…" Scorpius paused and smiled apologetically, "_Aeryn_. I see that motherhood is agreeing with you."

"I know, it's exaggerated my good qualities." She shrugged. "Who knew I could get more protective?"

"Being a parent is educational," John agreed, easing closer to his wife. Despite his forward progress, she never took her focus off Scorpius. "Aeryn, honey, I know you're always excited to see a familiar face," John leaned down to whisper in her ear, "but perhaps you could put down the weapon?"

"Not likely." She still didn't look at him, merely tightened the grip on her gun.

"Ookay." He turned to Scorpius. "I don't think she's going to stop threatening you anytime soon," he informed him. "Perhaps we should just get down to business."

"An acceptable suggestion. Where would you like to undergo the re-insertion procedure?" Scorpius shot a sideways look at Aeryn. "I'm guessing the nursery is not an option."

"Actually, I redid the nursery while my husband was out," she said serenely. "Would you like to see it?"

"Oh yeah, definitely not an option," John said. Because, really: Aeryn and interior decorating? He felt fairly certain the nursery had become an armory. And although in their relationship he had both led and followed, right now he decided it was best to get the hell out of the way.

So he steered Scorpius towards the medical bay, while Aeryn watched them go, her gun constantly trained on back of the departing enemy.

\---

John knew if he hadn't been sitting he would have collapsed from the injection. The pain wasn't so bad - he'd had too much taken in and out of his head to notice the carrier mechanism anymore - but the idea of losing even part of his mind again made controlling any motor skills beyond respiration a complete impossibility.

_Darkness surrounded him, and waves lapped at the edge of his awareness._

_Or at least at the edge of the old wooden supports. He knew this place._

_One step, two, and he had turned on the pier to face dry land. To face him._

_Harvey._

_"Feeling nostalgic, John?" Scorpius' neural clone opened his arms in welcome. "I thought you might enjoy a trip down memory lane." _

_"Don't use up your frequent flyer miles, Harvey. We're so not going there."_

_The clone shrugged, and instantly their surroundings morphed. Voices called across a lake now bathed in sunlight. The dock they stood on could barely be seen beneath a plethora of bathing gear: bottles of suntan lotion, inner tubes, old beach towels, half-empty coca cola cans. _

_"John!" Harvey now stood proudly in front of him in khaki shorts and shirt a size or so too small, a campaign hat askew on his head, an undone kerchief around his neck. He held a birdcage made out of popsicle sticks, which he thrust out for appraisal, "Look what I made," he said. "And I did it all by myself." He lifted one hand and solemnly made the three-finger salute John remembered from so long ago. "Scout's honor."_

_John rolled his eyes. "You have no honor. And that uniform looks ridiculous." _

_Harvey examined his clothing and frowned. "I thought all uniforms were supposed to be dashing." _

_"I can't believe this ever sounded like a good idea. Plans involving you never work out—too many variables."_

_"Having cohabitated your mind, I can say with some authority that you should really consider thinking through your decisions more carefully." He smiled cherubically. "Always be prepared, that's what I say."_

_Something in the tone of Harvey's last statement made John study him carefully. "And are you?"_

_"Am I what? Prepared? Absolutely." He pointed to his shoulder. "I have a science badge."_

_"Enough!" John grabbed a fistful of the clone's uniform and hauled him up until they were face to leather-clad face. "Do you know what I want?"_

_"Yes!" Harvey jerked away and straightened his shirt. "You want me to play hide-and-seek. Well, really you just care about the seeking part."_

_"Exactly. I want to know whether or not any of that knowledge the ancients supposedly stripped from my mind is still left lying around. Did you hide anything before your programming removed you from here? Is there anything Einstein might have buried away when he cleansed me?"_

_"Not sure about all that. A bit under the weather myself when that alien rummaged through all my hiding places."_

_"So what you're saying is that you're useless. Fine. I'll just get Scorpy to-"_

_"Now, wait! I didn't say I wouldn't play, but your game plan is wrong. Plain hide-and-seek won't cut it here. At this camp we play sardines—find what's hidden then hide with it. Allows for time to absorb the knowledge."_

_"You think I'm just going to let you scamper off unsupervised in my brain again? Nuh-uh."_

_Harvey picked up a knapsack from the pier. "I'll get back to you, John. Wait two days, then come and find me. But for now, I have to go." He smiled, "There's a dance at the girls' camp across the lake."_

_Before John could protest, he had been left alone with his thoughts—the only one of note being that the bastard had better only find – and not add to – the insanity already present here. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Part IV: Predator &amp; Prey**

"How did it go?" Aeryn asked him later, after Scorpius had been escorted (and locked) back into his quarters.

"I'm still not sure," John said. "Harvey's gone underground for the moment." He paused, considering. "Through from the number of times I've sneezed today, I might be discounting a trail of dust bunnies."

"And you're really going to just let him run around inside your head?"

"Aeryn, if he misbehaves again I'll just throw him back into the dumpster."

"Would that be the same one you pull your ideas out of?"

John laughed. "You know, I'm just going to take that a compliment." He sped up his walking pace until he was moving down the corridor at a near-jog. The act of running away from the conversation was only symbolic, of course. There was no way he was ever going to out-maneuver his wife in this galaxy or any other. However, he had taken to believing that it was the principle of the action that mattered. So, in principle, he shouldn't still be able to hear what she said next.

Unfortunately, in practice both Aeryn and the universe generally ignored his principles. In fact, Aeryn didn't even seem to register their change in speed. "You're taking insults as compliments these days?" she asked. "Funny, I didn't realize how many nice things I've been saying about you lately."

"Hey, in this crowd," John gestured vaguely to the walls and the ceiling of their present tier, "being told that my ideas originate from anyplace inside my head beats the more general assumption that I'm pulling them out of my a-" His comm beeped.

"Crichton, we seem to have encountered a problem."

John and Aeryn quickly corrected their course so that they were heading towards command.

"What is it, Pilot?" Aeryn asked.

"More company," he said. "And I don't believe it is anyone we were hoping for."

\--

"John Crichton," the disembodied voice said.

Both he and Aeryn winced even before they had video confirmation of their visitor onscreen.

"Don't you wish we had a dollar for every critter who comes back from the dead wanting to send me there?" John asked Aeryn out of the side of his mouth.

"You do tend to piss people off," she said, checking her weapon. "It's one of those things I love about you."

Ahkna suddenly sprang up on the screen before them, bigger than life and, John though privately, twice as ugly. He forced a smile on his face, but Aeryn beat him to the opening gambit.

"Hello, Minister," she said. "Where's your hat?"

The Scarran looked so put out at the query that John felt pretty sure that the hat in question must have been lost sometime around the Eidolon incident. Well, either that or she was still holding a grudge against Aeryn for that pulse blast. He'd found out the hard way that one should never assume which of their actions had proven the most offensive to those who found it necessary to pursue them.

It could occasionally lead to a misunderstanding.

"I refuse to answer that question," Ahkna said. "It is juvenile-"

"I must be rubbing off on you," John said to Aeryn. He turned back to Ahkna. "What do you want? I'm already tired of this conversation, and you haven't even started making threats yet. Should I just assume that you're out to destroy the world again and inform you that I have no more intention of helping you now than I did the first time around?"

"Why must you always stall?" Ahkna asked. "You know I want the child."

"Well, you can't have her," Aeryn said.

"She's right," John said to Ahkna. "Though I had thought that, even without your thinking cap, you would have already figured that out."

"Did you really think all of the Scarrans would accept your peace treaty, Crichton? There are many in power who support me in the pursuit of your child. And you must realize my dedication to the project." She smiled. "I did already kill the mother of your offspring."

Aeryn cleared her throat. "Correction," she said. "You killed _one_ of the mothers of his offspring."

"And I didn't even like that one," John said confidentially.

He wished for Mele's sake that this last statement wasn't true, but knew he'd never feel any other way. Whatever sadness he carried from the news of Commandant Grayza's passing would always be strictly for his daughter. And even then, he thought Mele would be better off not growing up on a command carrier. Not to mention the fact that he was rather partial to Aeryn's parenting skills.

"I believe you feel more attachment to the one standing beside you," Ahkna said. "And though I would enjoy killing her, I will let her live if you give me the girl."

"Let me live?" Aeryn laughed and walked closer to the viewing screen. "What? Like you did last time? How many shots did you get in again?"

"Trust me, Sebacean, if I shoot you, your death will be a lot more final than my own."

"Alright, this conversation is officially over," John informed the Scarran. He punched the control that turned off the screen. "Pilot," he said, as he moved over to stand closer to Aeryn. "I know I'm asking this just to hear myself talk, but is there any way we can starburst away from their ship?"

"I'm sorry Commander, but we're-"

"-too close," Aeryn and John finished for him.

"Always worth checking," John said. "Anyone have any ideas worth mentioning?"

"If we could just-"

The appearance of a Peacekeeper command carrier interrupted the rest of Aeryn's proposal. Before anyone could even comment on its presence, another one came into view behind it. Suddenly a whole mass of prowlers separated them from the Scarran dreadnought; John didn't think he'd ever been so glad to see one of those black-and-red ships that didn't belong to Aeryn.

"Someone must have called in the cavalry," John said. "Pilot, get Scorpius on the horn."

"I activated his comm when the ships appeared. He can hear you now."

"Scorpius?" John said. "You bring some friends to our party?"

"I did," Scorpius said. "And it would appear they arrived right on time." He paused, then added, "You're welcome, John."

John allowed that this time Nosferatu almost managed to sound sincere rather than smug. He gave Aeryn a questioning look, and she nodded. "Pilot," he said, "please unlock the door to Scorpius' quarters so he can come and join us."

"I'm doing it right now, Commander."

John and Aeryn resumed studying the maneuvers of the ships outside while they waited for their guest to join them.

"You know," Aeryn said, "I'm beginning to have a new respect for Braca. It's not easy to be nose-to-nose with a dreadnought."

"Apparently Scorpius brings out the best in some people," John said. "Which is a scary thought."

"You let him out of his quarters quickly enough," Aeryn observed.

"I like to reward good behavior." John shrugged. "Don't worry, next time he'll probably stay there. He has yet to make good behavior a habit." As John finished the statement, he felt a sudden lurch within his head.

_He was kneeling in front of an altar in a large stone church, the only available light that which filtered through the stain-glass windows. Beside him knelt a figure in black robes and a white wimple. As John watched, his neighbor put down a prayer book and turned to look at him._

_"He has many habits, John," Harvey said. "Perhaps you just don't know all of them yet."_

_"I know enough of them to have an informed opinion. And speaking of being informed," John pointed to Harvey's garb, "your outfit choices of late are not making me confident about your retrieval skills. What's with the penguin suit?"_

_"A bit narrow minded, aren't we? Well, I certainly wasn't dressing as a monk. Coarse hairshirts go beyond any penance I wish to achieve." He lowered his voice and nudged John. "Though they might have been onto something with all that scourging. You know I-"_

_"Ah, ah." John held up a hand. "Do not overshare in my mind. I do not want your fantasies echoing around after you are gone."_

_"If you ask me, this brain of yours could use a bit more of an echo. Maybe then you wouldn't forget so many things." Harvey walked over to one of the windows and studied the colorful, semi-translucent panes with great interest. "I'm sorry to say, I don't believe you're aware of half the things that go on in your own mind." He beckoned over his shoulder. "You should really come take a look."_

_"If I come over there, will I see what I sent you here to find?"_

_"If I said yes, would you believe me?"_

_"Probably not."_

_"John," Harvey said reproachfully, "I can't help you if you won't trust me."_

_"If you brought me here to tell me to have faith in you or Scorpy, you wasted our time." John turned and walked up the aisle towards the entrance. "Get back to me when you have real information you're willing to share."_

_"What about your usual threats?" Harvey called after him. "The dumpster? Violence? Program deletion?"_

_"Nah," John said as he pushed the doors open. "Don't wanna chance creating a martyr."_

"John? John are you alright?"

John gave his head a sharp shake to clear the cobwebs and rubbed a hand across his eyes. He hadn't realized he'd spent long enough with his inner companion for it to be noticeable to those who occupied a (relatively) saner plane of existence. This did not bode well.

"Yeah, Aeryn," he said. "I'm-"

"He's fine," Scorpius said as he entered command. "He was most likely just communicating with my other half."

"One might say your better half," John said. "At least I can control _him_."

"Do you really believe that? How…interesting."

"Oh, won't you two just take a room already?" Aeryn muttered, not even looking up from the control panel she was monitoring to deliver the insult.

"I'm unfamiliar with this request," Scorpius said to John. "Does she want us to leave?"

"In a manner of speaking," John replied. "But you'd break my heart so we'll just not do it and say we didn't." At Scorpius' dubious look, he clarified. "Stay put. Find a console to monitor."

John moved to stand behind Aeryn. He put an arm around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder, tilting his head down so he could see the same readings she seemed so interested in. They weren't all that useful. He turned his head to whisper in her ear.

"You don't take a room, Aeyrn, you _get_ one," he said, squeezing her waist. "Taking is for numbers." He brushed his lips against her temple, then took a couple steps back and raised his voice. "And speaking of numbers," he cocked a thumb towards the screen, indicating the company that awaited them, "what are going to do about all our friends outside? What exactly is our position in this new game of chicken? I'm guessing this is pretty much a standoff we don't want to be in, and I shouldn't hope they'll turn around and head home anytime soon."

"Hope all you want," Aeryn said. "But a retreat is highly unlikely. I'm not even certain how much longer we can maintain a stalemate."

"I agree, the situation will only escalate from here. We need a solution. Preferably," Scorpius walked forward and tapped John's forehead with his index finger, "a quick one."

"Hey, don't go pointing that thing at me." John batted away the outstretched hand. "I don't know if you tried to perform some type of upgrade before you stuck him back in my head, but Harvey version 2.0 is not very talkative."

"Perhaps if you'd simply-"

"Enough!" Aeryn said, smacking her hands down on the panel in front of her. "I have been more than patient with the both of you up to now, but this is getting us nowhere." She turned to face John. "Either you convince whatever's now running around in your head to actually be useful, or I will find some way of getting in there and removing him myself."

"I'm not sure ripping my mind apart will help the situation, Aeryn."

"Fine," she said. "I'll go join Braca out there. At least then I'll actually be doing something." Not giving anyone a chance to respond, she turned and strode out the door, presumably heading in the direction of the docking bay.

"Give us a minute," John told Scorpius as he turned to follow. At the door he paused and called over his shoulder. "And don't touch anything."

When he caught up with Aeryn, she refused to look at him.

"Please stop," he said, putting his hand around her bicep and pulling her to a stop. "I need you to be the calm one right now. The world is falling apart around me."

"I cannot just sit here. I said our son would be raised in peace, and I meant it!"

"Aeryn, don't go drinking the Kool-Aid just yet-"

"I don't know what that means but-"

"Just hold on a microt. All that yelling you did on command a few minutes ago? It gave me an idea."

"Oh? Is it one I'll even like?"

"Definitely." He felt a slow grin spread across his face. "But you might be the only one."

\--

This time when John closed his eyes, he was the man with the plan.

_He was also, apparently, the man on the boat._

_"Piña colada, John?" Harvey asked from his lounge chair on the ship's deck. "I've got the ingredients back in my cabin." _

_"Nope, I ain't got the time. And neither," John knocked the drink from his hand, "have you."_

_"Hey! It took me forever to find that rum!" Harvey looked disgustedly at the spreading puddle of alcohol on the deck and crossed his arms over his chest. "Fine, you're mixing the next ones."_

_"No. There will be no more mixing. No more vacationing. I did not pull you out of retirement to take a cruise through my memory."_

_"But I got such a good deal on this trip, and they have this amazing early-bird special-"_

_"We're getting off this boat," John said. "Now." So saying, he forced their surroundings to change. When he was done, they were still surrounded by deep-blue water on all sides, but the ground beneath their feet had changed to sand. In the background he could hear voices squabbling. _

_"Gilligan's Island again, John?" Harvey shook his head. "You're becoming repetitive."_

_"I'd be content with re-runs if I was you. If you tempt me to vary it up, you'll be in a two-piece and Ginger will have to find a new bikini."_

_"Promises, promises. I'm unimpressed. You don't even carry out your threats."_

_"Well, how's this for a threat?" John materialized the dumpster. "Either you start talking, or I leave you in there to bake in the sun."_

_For the first time, Harvey looked distinctly nervous. "Oh, c'mon, John. You wouldn't do that anymore. Not since we've become friends and worked together. You know, all that bonding stuff?" He paused hopefully, but only received a skeptical look in response. "Think about it—I've spend so much time here, I probably know the landscape as well as you. Better even. My control of the environment certainly surpasses your own."_

_"Hey, bunny-boy, this island does not belong to Moreau. You are not Scorpy's all powerful creature here. I control what goes on in this part of the world." As he spoke, the dumpster's lid slowly opened. "I stranded us here in the hopes that you'd quit stalling, but if you refuse to focus, I'm putting you away for awhile."_

_"You'll only cause yourself unnecessary delay."_

_"Maybe." John shrugged. "Maybe not. It might make me feel so good that I figure out a solution that doesn't even utilize you."_

_The clone sighed. "Alright. Just don't say that I said this would be easy." In a sudden flash of greenish-blue, a wormhole opened in front of them. "Are you ready?" he asked._

_Without answering, John took several steps forward and jumped. Harvey followed, and the wormhole closed behind them._


End file.
